The NYT Magazine Sunday featured a cover story on... well, not gay marriage, exactly... more about gayness itself.
What's Their Real Problem With Gay Marriage? (It's the Gay Part) [NYT Magazine, 6.19.2005, registration require]
Maryland's anti-gay-marriage crusaders share this with organizers nationwide: They say they are fighting a disease.
The story is depressing beyond the fact that these are people who can see me... or my friends... as morally repugnant. To be honest, I don't have a problem with that. But what truly scares me is that they aren't comfortable having their own views. They need to impose their views on others. And because their views are ordained by God, there is no room for discussion or debate. Their arguments are, of course, intellectually empty because it largely rests on the blind belief that the Bible says homosexuality is immoral therefore it is wrong. And because being gay is wrong, it can't be associated with racism or other cases of discrimination.
What I find truly curious is that we are stuck in the Middle East as part of an effort to bring about a democracy and free people from dictators and radical religious fanatics. Yet at home, we are turning our country over to religious fanatics. A case in point: Terri Schiavo.
It is curious that these people think that their beliefs are under attack. In fact, this quote just cracked me up:
Bryan Simonaire added: ''We have to recognize that they have a strategy to propagate their lifestyle. Think back 10 or 20 years ago, when you had the first openly homosexual person on TV. It was shocking to a lot of people. Now it's the norm on television, so you don't have the shock factor. Then they had two men with a passionate kiss on TV. That's the road they're heading down. They have a strategy.''
It is out there more because we are not staying in the closet any more. Many of us are proud of our lives. Are we perfect? Of course not. But is any group? Is anybody?
''My concern is the health issue,'' said Evalena Gray, an activist in southern Maryland. ''I want to get these people away from AIDS, out of that unhealthy lifestyle.''
Unfortunately I feel sorry for her kids because she is raising them in a culture of hatred.
I don't care about anybodies beliefs. People can believe whatever they want as long as they don't impose their beliefs on me. And I'm sorry but if find Will & Grace or Queer As Folk repugnant, don't watch! I don't have a problem with that. But about 10 million people watch Will & Grace. (I'm not one of them because I found the stories getting tedious and boring.)
Unfortunately I'm not sure how we live in a free and open democracy if there are all sorts of issues where a large group of people merely opt out and feel it is within reason to obliterate others rights.
Anti-gays argue that it is not nature, but it is a 'lifestyle.'
Indeed, a constant refrain among the anti-gay-marriage forces is that they are motivated not by hate but by love. Most of the activists I spoke with say that they know gay people -- several said they have relatives who are gay -- and that they have approached them, with love, to try to get them to change. Rick Bowers, a pastor of a nondenominational church in Columbia, Md., is the head of Defend Maryland Marriage, another activist group, which works with Focus on the Family. ''There are those extremists who say that if a gay person were on fire you would burn in hell if you spit on them to put out the fire,'' he told me. ''But we're not like that. We love the human being. It's the lifestyle we disagree with.''
''Lifestyle'' is a buzzword in conservative Christian circles. It's a signal of the belief, and the policy position, that homosexuality is not an innate condition but a hedonistic way of living, one devoted to partying, drugs and wanton sex that ends, often, in illness and early death. In 2004 the Family Research Council put out a book called ''Getting It Straight: What the Research Shows About Homosexuality,'' which purports to explode the myth that homosexuality is natural or genetic and puts forth an alternative theory that it springs from childhood abuse or other developmental factors. Chapter 4, ''Is Homosexuality a Health Risk?'' lines up studies and statistics to link homosexuality with cancer, alcoholism, mental illness, suicide and reduced life span, in addition to H.I.V./AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. The activists opposing gay marriage echo these points. ''My concern is the health issue,'' said Evalena Gray, an activist in southern Maryland. ''I want to get these people away from AIDS, out of that unhealthy lifestyle.''
I have argued with gay friends that being gay is -- or can be -- a choice. I lived a 'straight' life for a long time. After all, I didn't come out until I was in my mid-20s. But I was miserable and it had long-term ramifications on my life that I'm still dealing with these days.
Nature or nurture -- who cares? So you don't agree with the 'lifestyle.' So... don't get into a gay relationship. Don't watch television shows. Even don't associate with gay people, if you want. But why is there the need to impose your views on others? And we aren't talking about sex with children... and we aren't talking about sex with animals... We are talking about two people who have entered into a mutual relationship with one another... and I'm not sure why these folks care what I do with my life. They are afraid of what it will do to the institution of marriage? Well, straight people have made a pretty good mess of it on their own, thank you very much.
DMV and I are going to have a commitment ceremony next year and it is not meant to be a political statement, but one person noted that merely by its nature, it is making a political statement. DMV and I love one another and we are inviting our friends to support our commitment to one another -- through thick and thin, richer and poorer, sickness and in health. And we all know that kind of commitment isn't always easy, but I truly believe that love breads more love.
A long post, but this is an issue that touches on so many issues.
I'm sure I'll return to it. Meanwhile, I'm off to dinner.
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