I did not see The Fantastic Four this weekend. Yes, despite the largely mediocre reviews, I want to see it because the fire guy is H-O-T... and not in just a 'I'm on fire' way! (See this week's Us Weekly magazine if you somehow need proof! And no, not online. You have to go buy it!)
Anyway, you do need to read this piece in the Portland Mercury, "Why the Fantastic 4 Human Torch ATV (with Light-Up Headlights!) is the Worst Movie Tie-In Toy Ever." Just a taste:
The Human Torch has no need for an "All-Terrain Vehicle"--because the last time I checked, the Human Torch can fucking FLY.
Has anyone told the Human Torch that it might not be safe to sit on top of a gas tank when one is on FIRE? Nice message to send the kids, assholes!
This thanks to Good Morning Silicon Valley... and the site is not for those with an aversion to profanity.
BTW, we didn't see the Fantastic Four because we did see "War of the Worlds"... and more on this in a later post, but... ugh!
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